The dreaded absence of information

Set the rumors free!

Think about what happens when we humans are desperate for information. Now consider what we do to fill the void when facts (or at least the facts that we want to hear) aren’t available.

Much like the people who scream that the sky is falling, we can quickly fall prey to the doom scenarios. If it’s a crisis at work, then you jump to the conclusion that you are certain to be fired or laid off. Or perhaps the entire company is going to close! You eagerly share any tidbits you have, regardless of whether they are based in reality or created by you, to soothe your fears.

As one example, we in higher education are facing a difficult time. The most important reason? No, it’s not what President Trump might or might not do. Instead, demographic shifts continue to place some universities in real danger; fewer students mean fewer tuition dollars, and…you see how that spiral of fear can kick in. The reality is that some colleges and universities will close in the coming years, and the pain that such closures will bring will be miserable.

Some people resort to the “well, they can’t get rid of me because…” line; such reasoning presumes a kind-of superiority or security that other people don’t have. Others go for the jugular: “Dump me and I’ll sue.” Others brush up their curriculum vitae and look for a new job, believing (and perhaps falsely) that there’s greener grass somewhere else.

Regardless of what they say or do, these individuals walk around with the proverbial Sword of Damocles hanging over their head. Bad move. Please don’t misunderstand what I’m stating: I’m not advocating that we walk around smiling and holding hands as if we’re in some utopia. There are painful realities associated with a job loss, but to dwell each day on whether it will happen leads to making hasty, or just plain bad, decisions.

Instead focus on making smart choices now should you need to put those plans into place later.

Maybe the fear of a job loss isn’t on your radar. Lucky you. But we all face the potential news that a health condition will radically change our lives. In this scenario, your doctor has ordered some medical tests because he or she noticed an anomaly in your blood work. As each tick and tick of the clock gets louder and louder, you await the phone call that will relay what has been found. A cursory glance at the Internet, where we know all things are 100 percent accurate 100 percent of the time, leads you to conclude that you have some polysyllabic disease that only a medical professional can pronounce…and that no one has heard of before…and it’s going to kill you. Or maybe you’ll get lucky and it will only limit what you can do. Or maybe…

Logically, we know that it would be better to simply wait until the doctor calls us to relay the results and share whatever next steps need to be taken. Logically, we know that doom scrolling on the Internet will increase our anxiety. Logically, we know that a sound medical system and a competent medical team afford us a great chance to survive, should we in fact have some dreaded disease.

But logic is kicked to the curb as fears run rampant. Remember, focus on making smart choices now should you need to put those plans into place later.

Now let’s consider a trivial example.

College basketball fans will be in a lather for the next 30 or so hours as they await the announcements of the NCAA men’s and women’s tournament brackets. Someone is certain to get excited because their school is, according to a bracketologist (and kudos to whomever created that word; it is brilliant), likely to face the University of X in the first round. Of course, another fan of that school is now in dread of playing the University of X, but he or she finds relief because another bracketologist sees it differently.

Dear college basketball fan: There is absolutely nothing you can do between now and when the brackets are revealed to change where your team is slotted into the tournament, if it makes it there at all. You’re wasting precious time and energy playing a game of mental chess sorting out all the what-if’s about the tournament selections.

Yes, we want certainty in our lives. Certainty presumes stability, which ushers in planning and dreaming, hoping and wanting. But certainty is never certain. Some situations resolve themselves quickly (i.e. which teams will make the college basketball tournaments and which opponent they will face); others can drag on for years (i.e. will a university have to shut its doors).

We need to focus on what is, not what might be. We need to focus on what we are in control of, not what we can’t control. We need to focus on the good that we have, not the bad we might be forced to carry.

One of my wife’s dear friends has a saying: Identify the micro goods that happen each day. It might be the smile from a stranger, a phone call from a friend, a wagging tail from a dog. And embrace the good energy that comes from that moment.

Good advice.